Preparations
by Bettie Page
Summary: Written before Breaking Dawning came out. Preparations before the wedding, Bella and Edward explore their moral boundaries and talk about the future. Its what I thought would happen...some missing scenes. Fluffyness that is trying to be funny and romantic
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I wrote this telling story last summer before **_**Breaking Dawn**_** came out because I am the most impatient person ever...so I wrote my own! I didnt know what the heck fanfiction was so I wrote it for my neighbors, friends, mom and sister. They said they liked because they have to. They're just nice.**

**It has been sitting on my computer since August and I thought I would post it and see what ya'll think. I couldnt just throw it away and delete it. I spent A VERY LARGE amount of time slacking off at work to write this:) It would be disrespectful to my boss to just chuck, he paid good money for it.**

**Mostly it's just fluff and since it was the 1st thing I have ever written, its basically all immature and silly and struggling. Some BD things I guessed right, and some things (like flipping Reneesme...and Jacob!) I could NEVER have thought would happen. Its just funny to read and think back to what we all THOUGHT was going to happen. Shit. We were wrong. It stops after the honeymoon because lets face it, thats all I cared about happening in **_**Breaking Dawn.**_** Surprisingly, there is no smut either! Its pretty clean.**

**Give me some feedback, yo.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

Chapter 1: Telling Charlie

Because this wedding was his idea anyway and because I had the strange urge to make him feel some of the uncomfortable feelings I felt about it, I decided it would be best if Edward were to tell Charlie himself. Usually, I am all for the 'less is more' with Charlie conversations. But this felt like a good time to see just how smooth Edward could be with words.

"I think this might go better if you ask Charlie for his blessing rather than us just announcing it to him. Don't you think?" I said trying not to give away my indulgent plan of relinquishing uncertainties onto him. It was hard not to smile during the rare times Edward had not known what to say.

He looked over at me like I had just thrown him under the bus. I waited while he tried to come up with a better plan.

"I think we should tell him together, he will be calmer if you're in the room. I am not exactly his favorite person." He tried to hide something with his eyes but I could still see some dread behind them. "I think he'll be wishing someone else was on his couch asking for his blessing the entire time."

I knew he was right about that. Although it had been several months since Edward came back, plenty of time for Charlie to get over the fact that he left me and start to accept the fact that he wasn't going anywhere again, Charlie was constantly and unnecessarily bad-mannered to Edward and would definitely prefer if that someone Edward was referring to were Jacob. The small part of me that would always belong to Jacob smugly tugged on my heart as Edward mentioned him this way. I hadn't seen or heard from him since our last goodbyes and this conversation made me wonder how he was holding up.

Edward's distraction got me thinking but not enough to change my mind. I kept my mission going, "You know it is a customary tradition amongst humans and Charlie might obtain a touch of deference for you since you were brave enough to ask permission for my hand" I raised my eyebrows at him trying not to smile.

He picked up on my little operation "I still think we should tell him together, it is just as customary as anything and I can tell by his mind that he will respond better if we're both there. Besides, you're the one who says we have to tell him anyway. I said we could secretly go to Vegas."

I hadn't realized we were already in front of my house. I was now totally nervous. I just agreed with Edward. He would argue forever if it came down to it, and in his case, he really could. I gave him a nervous smile and slipped on my ring.

"Charlie is in an alright mood, this shouldn't be too bad." He said trying to comfort himself more than me.

"Let's just get this part over with." I sighed as I got out of the car. He silently followed.

When we got in the house I heard Charlie yell, "Bella, s'that you?" We walked into the living room where Charlie was and sat down in our usual seats- Edward in the only chair, and me next to Charlie on the couch. There happened to be a slow moving game of golf on the TV and Charlie looked at us suspiciously because it had almost been a year since we all sat together in his living room. "What's going on?" he asked casually eyeing both of us up and down.

"Dad, Golf? Come on. Can you watch anything more boring?" It probably didn't look very inconspicuous that I sat down awkwardly with my hands still in my front jean pockets.

"Oh." He eyed my hands specifically and then said with an unsure smile "There wasn't a lot on."

We all sat in silence for a few moments pretending to watch the players walk to their next holes.

"Is there something you guys want to tell me?" Charlie finally asked his mood quickly souring. I knew he had guessed that if we both had something to tell him, it wasn't going to be good news.

Edward's eyes bulged out of his head, his lips pulled together at the center as he quickly whipped his head away from Charlie and back to pretending to watch the TV. Edward was a statue whose expression confused me as he heard what Charlie was trying to guess we were there to tell him. The expression wasn't upset, but actually uncomfortable and slightly embarrassed. I chickened out. Edward was never this uncomfortable unless someone was thinking about my demise. Each second that passed Charlie turned his head to look at me and then Edward until I finally said "No, not really. Oh, it is almost five o'clock, what do you want for dinner?" Charlie didn't buy it. I quickly got up and headed toward the kitchen to see what ingredients I could put together.

I now knew I needed to make something extra miraculous so I could distract him from my news. It wasn't long before Edward followed me and eventually I heard the TV click off and Charlie was also in the room. Edward gave me a look that meant 'I told you this was a bad idea' and stood away from Charlie over by the sink.

"I am an officer of the law and I have been highly trained to know when someone is trying to hide something from me." His face was burgundy with chagrin as he asked his next question, "Now give it to me straight Isabella, are you pregnant?"

My face now matched his when I realized what Edward had heard and I slyly tried to move my left hand behind the counter. "Be serious dad! We've had this conversation already."

His face was returning to normal from the relief but the redness immediately reappeared as he realized Edward was still in the room. "Then what the hell is going on, you two don't normally come and sit in my living room with guilty faces on."

"It was nothing dad, we're just trying to spend some time with you, you know? I am headed off for college in a couple weeks; I am going to miss not being around." I surprised myself with my amazing cover. The surprise in my voice is what gave me away.

"Oh, is that _all_" Charlie said as he stared at me trying to figure out if I was lying.

"Well there is one thing we wanted to ask you" Edward chimed in for the first time looking slightly annoyed by me. Charlie who rarely gave Edward the time of day turned to look at him expectantly.

"I just want you to know how much I love and care for your daughter. She is my life's purpose and the reason for my existence." My face was torn. I was trying to focus on not throwing up. I listened to Edward's words and it gave me the strength I needed.

Feeling like an enormous coward I put my hand back on the counter and the metal made a loud enough noise on the countertop to turn Charlie's head. "We're engaged." I said with a scared smile and sounding optimistic, pulling my hand up to my face to show him.

All the blood left Charlie's face; he was as white as Edward. I am glad he stood mostly in the hallway because it left a clear opening for him as he fell backwards and passed out.

It took a minute to wake Charlie up. When he started breathing at a normal pace again I started back to my food preparations. I decided chicken enchiladas were my best bet at this point. It was Charlie's favorite, it was then that I realized I wanted to make _all_ of his favorite meals and really keep up on spending time with him before I couldn't any longer.

I didn't have any time to waste; I wasn't going to be human for long and I knew I wouldn't be around for Charlie at the end of the summer. I made a nice big dinner with a green salad and a side dish of Mexican rice. Charlie and I sat down at the table to eat; Edward excused himself as usual and started walking in the living room. Charlie who had been quiet since his fall noticed this for the first time.

"Edward?" Charlie started to question. "How come you never eat with us, don't you like Bella's cooking?"

Edward, who already knew this was coming, turned and headed for the table to sit with us. I was suddenly nervous. I hadn't seen Edward eat human food since we first were getting to know each other and I dared him to take a bite of pizza.

"I usually eat before I come over because I am allergic to most foods" Edward said. "Anything made with eggs or peanuts sends me straight to the emergency room turns out to be most everything edible"

"Oh, that's terrible." Charlie said in an overdone sympathetic tone "How did your mother ever manage?" a rhetorical question no doubt. "As it turns out, I had a cousin who had the same problem when we were younger. Took him a while but he eventually got over it. That kid ate so much fruits and vegetables, he started to turn green, here you go Edward," Charlie took the salad prongs and started dishing it out on a third plate. "I better get used to having you for dinner if you're going to be my future son-in-law. What else do people like you eat?"

I was suddenly suspicious that Charlie was asking a different question. _People like you?_ Did he know more than I gave him credit for? "Dad, I don't think Edward can have salad dressing. He said he already ate; don't make him eat just lettuce."

"No, I'm ok Bella. I don't mind if I do. I like vegetables just as much as any other human being" Edward winked at me so fast Charlie could not have caught it. "Thank you, Charlie."

Charlie and I watched as Edward ate his salad with no dressing on it. Edward made an 'mmmm' sound as if it tasted delicious. I gave him a 'don't over do it' look and he put his fork down.

"Have you told your parents the news, Edward?" Charlie asked.

"Well yes, we told them earlier. They love Bella as one of their own. They are thrilled as you can imagine, they know how lucky I am to have Bella."

Charlie grunted as if to say he couldn't wholly reciprocate the Cullen's feeling for _my_ fiancé. I was starting to get defensive.

Charlie must have unknowingly asked a question in his head because Edward started speaking again. "They always support me with all the decisions I make." He was challenging Charlie's lack of confidence in my judgment.

"And your brothers and sisters are they also aware of this?"

"Dad," I had to start in, "There is nothing to be _aware_ of. And yes, as you can imagine, Alice has already started planning." Charlie's face was in conflict as I mentioned both Alice, possibly the love of his life, and wedding plans.

"Well how long have you been _planning_ this? You just graduated from high school last week. For heaven's sake, Bella…I know you're 18 and you can make these decisions for yourself, but I didn't think you were that kind of girl, Bells." Charlie was shaking his head disappointedly.

It was quiet for a short moment; this was the kind of thing I was afraid of. Oh well, I will have to face more than this when I tell Renee.

"Ya, I don't really know what kind of girl I am." I stood up to take my plate of half finished food to the sink. I suddenly wasn't hungry any more; I took Edward's salad with me.

I walked upstairs thinking Edward would follow me but when he didn't I just sat in the dark on my bed. I had to come up with a better plan of telling Renee. _Well, there's no hiding it_, I thought. I would just have to call and tell her flat out and I would have to hurry before Charlie did. After much arguing and debating, Renee actually handled it much better than I thought. She was happy that I was happy. She told me she would start looking for flights. "When is the date? Sometime next spring would be nice?"

"Actually, it is August 13th."

"Oh that is great honey, which gives you a nice long engagement and at least you'll be nineteen…"

"No mom," I cut in "August 13th of this year. In like 2 months."

"WHAT!?" Here we go again. "Bella, you don't have to rush into these things. Haven't you learned anything from your own life's experience?" I could hear Phil come in the back ground. 'Renee, calm down. Don't hyperventilate.'

"Hey Bella," Phil came on the phone. "Long time no talk, I'm sorry but I think she's going to have to call you back…" _Click_.

The worst was over. She would just have to recover and think about it.

When I went downstairs I could hear Charlie in a lecturing tone. "If anything ever and I mean _ever_ happens to that girl, I will have the FBI, CIA, and all the other law enforcement officials I can find on your ass. Do you hear me?" he stopped for only a moment, in time to think through his words more carefully. "If you ever hurt her again or send her back home crying, you're going to wish you never came back to Forks. I will hunt you down and no one will ever find you." I suddenly realized Charlie had wanted to say these words to him for a long time now.

Edward looked at Charlie now with his piercing black eyes that held even Charlie in some sort of trance. "You have my word that nothing will ever hurt or come between me and your daughter. I will put my life before hers. I will always protect her. Forever."

Then Edward turned to look at me, the fire a blaze. He meant these words he was saying more than Charlie could ever imagine. Then Charlie did something I had never before witnessed. He put his hand out to shake Edward's and spoke with tears in his eyes.

"I believe you. I know you love her. You love each other. I give you my blessing and I will just have to support your decision." Charlie sighed. His stubbornness absolved.

Edward had a relieved look on his face. I could tell the storm was over.

I walked over and hugged Charlie and then the tears in his eyes bubbled over. He was crying for me, "You will always be my little girl, Bells." He held me there for a while to calm down again.

Just then the phone rang. I knew it would be Renee calling to argue some more. I told Charlie I had some errands to run before the stores closed and he would have to talk some sense into her. "Just tell her what you just told us. That you support us."

"Oh man," he complained wiping his face. "Your mother can be really scary when she's angry" he was already walking toward the phone. "You'll owe me one after this."

I smiled at him again before Edward and I walked out the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**I dont own Twilight.**

Chapter 2: Unedited Thoughts

I watched Edward as he drove us away from my house.

He looked over at me and did his half smile before saying "I was starting to think Alice had lost her touch again." He looked back at the road. "She said things would go well and Charlie would be happy for us."

"I know, when he stopped breathing and passed out, I thought we killed him."

"What'd your mom say?" Wincing, not really wanting the answer.

"About the same, she was hyperventilating. Phil had to take the phone from her and told me she'd call back." I smiled because it was starting to be funny. Edward started laughing.

"Didn't think I was that bad of a guy. That parents would hyperventilate and pass out just because I was engaged to their daughter…" He trailed off shaking his head. "And they don't even know the worst part about me." He was musing at this thought. "So where are we going anyway?" We'd apparently been all over town by now.

"You know it's not all about you. They think I am too young for such a huge commitment…. I don't know, is there a store you need to go to? I just said that so I didn't have to talk to Renee."

"They don't even know half the commitment…." He looked really uncomfortable "Ughh. I think I need to go home, the salad is starting to turn on me."

"Oh. Uh-oh. I'm sorry," I winced at his uneasiness. "I didn't know my dad had a cousin with similar…problems." I laughed. "What happens when you eat food anyway? I have been wondering…it is kind of a personal question, your digestive system and all? But seeing as we're getting married, I can ask and you can tell me."

"You're always _wondering…_and Charlie doesn't have a cousin with anything, he was just trying to find some way to provoke me" I waited for a more detailed answer of my latter question. He rolled his eyes, guessing that he still had to tell me. "It's not 'personal' in the way you're thinking. I don't have a digestive track like yours. When I changed, my human body was almost…frozen," he was searching hard for 'better' words. "I don't have blood of my own, or any way to _move_ things around in there…I am solid, literally like a rock. I only have venom and the blood of the animals I drink. When I eat human food, it eventually will have to…come back out the way it went in. Which is why we should hurry, I don't think you should see that."

My eyes were wide. He had never given me information like this before. He had always shied away from anything that would give me 'hints' about the change, not wanting to bring up the subject. I guess he knew it was inevitable now and decided I should know some of these things. "You look worried" he laughed. "Don't be concerned, I can hold it in." He grinned huge.

"It's not that but, I was just thinking…." I stopped short. I didn't want to say my next question out loud. I wished I never brought this up. I just kept looking out the window.

"What are you thinking? You're not offending me. What?"

"I was thinking about what you said, no other liquids besides….Venom." I looked at him now, really curious. "I'm sorry but now I have to know, when we kiss, sometimes there are 'liquids' in your mouth- is that not saliva then?" I couldn't stop; I turned red as the words fell out of my mouth with out me thinking them through first. "What about other 'liquids' humans make, is it all just venom?" My eyebrows were both raised. I hurried to calm my flustered, curious face.

"Oh." He looked like he would actually blush too if he could. "I never thought about it that way. Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes, it is _all _just venom…or some kind of concoction of it " he wasn't stating it matter-of- factly, just considering it as he would with any other new epiphany. "I don't know if you've noticed the smell on my breath," he _obviously_ knew that I had indeed noticed.

"The venom has an alluring smell, just like the rest of me…one of my many predator traits. I am not sure about the 'other liquids' you're referring to but I won't make you say the words out loud. I think I got the gist of it." He smiled at me. "I will have to think about it…maybe speak to Carlisle."

"So…if we were to…say _try_…it could mix with my human fluids like an STD and _change_ me?" I hedged perplexed. This would certainly be a break through in our relationship. He wouldn't have to bite me and he wouldn't have to _stop_ drinking. And he wouldn't be in danger of killing me…well in that way, I guess. I would still be in mortal danger every second we spent that close together. He could crush me like the iron frame of our bed.

"I…I don't know. I have never met any one of my kind who could be so close with a human. I am going to speak with Carlisle."

We were at his house now and we went inside. I sat in the living room with Esme and Alice while Edward went and took care of his salad 'issue'. I think Edward and I were gone for 5 hours or so and I couldn't believe what Alice had already done…maybe she had already planned most of it before today. Esme had the TV on so low I couldn't hear it over Alice's chatter.

"I was thinking we could have the wedding at our house, in the back yard. There's plenty of room for all the guests and maybe a dance floor over here…and the cake could go here…" Alice had sketched the whole yard with flowers everywhere and huge white tents because most likely it would rain that day. She would go on and on for days if I let her.

Edward walked into the room with all kinds of thoughts on his face. He came and sat with us but he wasn't interested in anything Alice was saying. He was watching the news with Esme. I thought I heard Edward talking low under his breath to her but Alice's voice was so loud and excited I couldn't make anything out.

"I got the boys' tuxes set up…." then she bent to whisper in my ear so only I could hear. "…and I hope you don't mind but I kind of had to make Rosalie a bridesmaid too, I couldn't hurt her by excluding her that way."

She went on to tell me all sorts of things from the colors she'd picked out to the time the ceremony would take place. A lot of information that I really didn't care about, doves and carriages and crazy ideas that were not me. I looked at her exasperatedly after the carriage bit and said in the nicest way possible. "Alice, I really appreciate everything you're trying to do, honestly I do." She looked at me with sad eyes already knowing what I was going to say. Edward tried not to snigger at her and Esme just smiled expectantly. "…but I'm not a fancy girl; I don't care about big, elaborate, huge details like this. All I want is for my parents and you're family to be there to listen to Emmett read us our vows and then be done with it so I can go on my honey moon and have glorious sex with Edward which is the only reason I am going through all this in the first place."

I rambled on and said too much. They probably didn't need to know that last part. I was already red before I could finish the last sentence. All three of them laughed because they knew I had shared more info than I ever wanted to.

These things never embarrassed Alice of course. She was serious now. "Yes, I can see how worried you are Edward, about hurting her I mean, but your _honeymoon _will work out just fine…ew" She made a sour face. "What is this I am seeing about…ew. Ew. Ew…" She shook her head as if she could shake out her sudden disgust.

"Stop looking…thinking about that Alice!" Edward was smiling and shaking his head, embarrassed but pleased. He stood up over us. "I can see what you see; I stay out of all your heads when you wish to be _alone_ with your mates. (I liked the way he referred to me as his 'mate.') Please do me the same courtesy."

"Do you think I look for this stuff?" She asked in a higher voice than usual. "Eewww!" She pretended to keep shuddering, closing her eyes and shaking it off.

Edward laughed; he was trying not to get too riled up. He smiled again at Alice's vision before he grabbed my hand and flipped me over his right shoulder. I had just enough time to tell Esme and Alice that 'I guess this means good night' while bouncing over his shoulder before we disappeared at vampire speed up the stairs. I could hear Alice laughing her silvery laugh. "I said stop it, Alice." I imagine my face was once again tomato red.

He put me down at the doorway of his bedroom still smiling. I ran and heaved myself onto the bed as he was putting some music in his elaborate CD player. I lay there waiting for him propped up on my elbows with my legs crossed. I fiddled with my shirt.

"What's going on with Esme? What was she thinking about?"

He smiled. "Must you notice everything?" He turned to look at me smiling but annoyed.

In a more serious tone he continued. "There is a missing girl in Port Angeles, maybe a situation like the one I found you in that night, maybe something….more dangerous." He sounded like he was trying to calm himself down a little.

"Oh!" I exclaimed sadly surprised. "What is…more dangerous?" I didn't want to know.

"We don't know anything yet. I just can't get that night out of my head again. I shouldn't think about what could have happened to you if I wasn't there."

I felt awful for the missing girl but I wanted to get that expression off Edward's face.

"So…that's good news then, what Alice could see?" I asked Smiling.

"Very good news…. I just wish I didn't have to see it in my sister's thoughts." He was searching through the wall of CD's. I could tell he was still a little upset.

"What exactly did she see? I feel a little left out…as usual." I added.

"I'm sure you can guess…. She stopped thinking about it as soon as I saw a tiny glimpse…. We don't have to worry about it for a couple of months anyway."

"A couple of months... Ahhg." I complained. "Do you remember when we first met, the _frustration_ you had because you couldn't find my mind?" I asked him irritated, still staring at my shirt; I couldn't look at him for this conversation.

He smiled. "No, it didn't bother me that much." He said sarcastically. He put in some interesting classical music I didn't recognize.

"Well you holding out on me is 10_ times_ more frustrating. Ugggh! I am going crazy over here. We don't even get to kiss like normal couples." I complained. I was sitting up now talking with my annoyed hands. "You always pull away from me just when I'm getting started. You told me that 'you're over it,' the smell of my blood and everything. You don't have the urge to kill me every second anymore. Why can't we be _closer _to each other? Even if we don't….complete…the circle of life," I smiled. I was on a roll tonight. Things I would never say out loud kept popping out of my mouth. "We could 'make out' or something." I said it with the quotation marks in my voice and a half smile on my abashed face. "Would that be so bad?"

He looked over at me and gave me the half smile "Wow, you must have wanted to say all of this for awhile. I'm not used to the unedited version of your thoughts. It nice." He walked over to sit with me and bent down about half a foot from my face. "I told you earlier in the meadow if you changed your mind to let me know" He looked into my eyes. I tried to find a sign of uncertainty and found none. "I don't know why you're so ungrateful, I tried earlier today, remember? That was me, not you, 'frustrated'." He mimicked my voice.

"It's always all or nothing with you." I smiled "If it were up to me, I would spend most of my free time just kissing you. That's all I need to hold me over for a couple more months….I should go tell Alice June 13th will have to work" I said lightly. More rambling came out. "I just wonder if you'll ever want me as much as I want you---in that way."

"May I remind you that you and I are very different?" Now he was teasing me shaking his head and counting the reasons on his fingers. "One, you have a one-track mind. Two, I can think and _dream _about many things at once….and three" He sighed with nonchalance "I just have better reflexes and a superior recovery time than you." At this he stood up at the edge of the bed, dragged me towards him by the ankle and lifted me up wrapping both my legs around his waist holding me so close to him I could feel his granite body against mine. His face was just centimeters from mine and all I could smell was the venom; it was intoxicating. "I want you _in that way_ more than you can ever comprehend. You have no idea what I endure when I refuse you…I _am_ frustrated. You are so very alluring, not to mention _willing_!" His voice rose on the last word "When you plead with me and _demand _these things" He put his hand to my cheek "it takes all the control…all the will power I contain to deny you."

He was teasing me as he said all this. He knew I was getting dizzy from the scent and he kept his mouth only an inch away from mine-intentionally not kissing me. He lifted my chin and moved his nose along my jaw line back and forth.

"Mmmm, I can tell this is very hard for you," I said sarcastically then groaned impatiently. "You are being very rude, you know" I said in a daze. I tried unsuccessfully to push him away. I struggled, my hands against his chest but when I felt the details of his upper body muscles I stopped pushing and started _feeling_. My breathing was uneven, my heart sputtered impatiently and embarrassing again. "I know what you're doing here; you're not… fighting fair…. I couldn't…. tease you this way if I tried."

He laughed quietly still tickling my neck but with his lips now. "I know- that's why it's so fun." He laid me down in front of him and lightly brushed his fingers down my right arm, over my waist and hip bone, tracing my thigh with his whole hand and then brought both his hands to my face. "Bella, I think its time I take you home. Charlie might get worried. Do you know what time it is?" he said laughing through his words.

I wasn't about to waist anymore time. "Charlie shmarlie." I took complete advantage of his hands on my face pulling my lips to his; I kissed him with all the force I could find in my measly human body. He was kissing back with more urgency than I felt before, he wasn't being very careful and I wanted more of it. His hands then moved to twist and turn in my hair. I pulled one of my hands up to meet his and interlocked our fingers.

He moved hastily, like he couldn't take it anymore. Suddenly his hands moved…elsewhere, exploring and slowly hunting over my body. I had to catch my breath. He was telling the truth about his frustration. His starving hands were all over me like the ravenous lion and his prey. I could tell that he wanted me_,_ wanted it bad-not just now but he had wanted me for a _very long time_. The build up was suddenly too much for him. I wasn't one to argue, he finally showed some weakness. He moved his lips to my neck and now I wasn't the only one breathing unevenly. He shifted me over gently and pulled me on top of him. I sat upright and he moved up to sit vertical with me embracing me tightly against him again with my legs wrapped around him never pulling his lips from my neck, his hands were on my back holding me close. Very gently, he brushed his perfect teeth against my earlobe and down to my neck.

"You see how dangerous this could be?" He said. I could hear a smile in his voice. I suddenly felt very warm despite the human ice cube I was attached to. At the same moment his frosty cold hands were underneath my shirt, against the hot skin of my middle back. I was trembling, but not from the chill of his touch. He trembled too, a first; almost as if he'd been waiting 100 years to just touch the skin of my back. It made it really hard to NOT to think about what other skin he could be touching.

"I like danger." I gasped after a moment of trying to think coherently. I pulled his shirt over his head and he followed my touch when I pushed him down to the bed, his unbearable beauty lay before me. I slowly traced the cool marble lines of his body. I bit my lip as I looked down at him trying to calm myself and think this through. If I wasn't careful we would get carried away and go to far. He closed his eyes as he was very aware of my warm hands against his skin. He was for once inebriated by_ my_ presence- forgetting to breath and unable to speak. I felt powerful, brave and….beautiful. Wanted and victorious were other good words to describe this strange high I was feeling. He was right, this was fun. I bent low to kiss him one last time and tried unsuccessfully to suppress a laugh when I exclaimed "Paybacks!"

I quickly swung my leg over to meet its pair and hopped off his bed, running at human speed for the door. I didn't even hear him move. He abruptly had a hold of my wrist and a menacing smile on his face.

"Where do you think you're going?"the excitement in his face was overwhelming. He pulled me back to his side. He smiled expectantly. "You can't just tear down all my defenses and then leave me there to suffer." He accused.

"I said, 'paybacks!'" I smiled big and raised my eyebrows.

"Uh." He gasped frustrated, speechless but still smiling. I got him. The fire was still burning in his excited eyes. "That's just cruel." He gave a small groan, turned and limply toppled himself over on the bed face down his hands spread wide. The bed shuddered frantically and the side rails disconnected themselves from the bed frame. The mattresses hit the ground with a loud thud.

It was quiet for a short moment but I couldn't help but laugh. "Very dangerous," I agreed still laughing. I could see Edward chuckling silently still in the same defeated position he landed in. Then suddenly he stood up looking for his shirt. "What?" was all I could ask and Esme was standing at his door looking a tad bit annoyed. I was surprised to see her look at Edward this way; she wasn't a person who glared often.

"What did you do now, Edward?" She said in a very scolding motherly tone.

Edward just stood there with his shirt still in his hands and mashed his lips together. He didn't say anything.

Emmett stuck his head in over Esme's shoulder. He took one look at me, then shirtless Edward, and then the broken down bed and his booming laugh shook the whole room like a grizzly bear's roar. I don't think I could have counted to 1 before the rest of the Cullens were all standing outside Edward's bedroom door wondering what was going on.

"Bella, you finally found something he's not good at" Emmett said loudly through his laughter. Now everyone was laughing now as they put two and two together. Everyone except Edward. Alice smiled at me, she knew before we did what would happen. Edward hurried humanly anxious to put his shirt on.

Esme walked over to the enormous bed to investigate. She picked up what looked like broken pieces of nuts, bolts, & screws. She sighed. "Edward, must you always be the one to destroy the furnishings? Look at the wall; I still can't get it right after you attacked Bella, albeit playfully...and shoved that couch into it….Then the TV downstairs? You're temper is out of control!" She raised her voice slightly for emphasis, not that he had any hearing problems. "You can't go around ripping plasma TVs in half just because you don't get your way." She shook her head. "You've got to be more careful!"

"I'm Sorry." Edward looked more like a seventeen year old teenager in trouble at this moment than ever before. "It's not your bed." He muttered & turned to me with chagrin all over his face. "Let's go, please." Vampire speed wouldn't get us out of the house fast enough.

As we went to leave, Jasper, Emmett and even a little Carlisle were still laughing mockingly at Edward's embarrassment.

"Shut up, assholes." Edward muttered to them.

The women all smiled at me like co-conspirators.

**A/N: Actually if you've memorized S. Meyer's website like I did, you would find that these things I'm sayin are almost accurate. The family was a little upset in the end of new moon when after hearing Carlisle's thought at the infamous vote...Edward storms from the room and they hear some loud disturbing noises. S. Meyer revealed that it was indeed a plasma TV the family had purchased from Korea or something because it was not available in the United States yet, that he ripped in half. She said Emmett was especially irritated. Other notes from her FAQ pages include that if the vamps eat food, they will cough it right back up because they have no digestive track that moves about... **

**Reviews? Comments? Please?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Dont own Twilight or Stephenie Meyer's characters.**

Chapter 3- Gone

Over the next several weeks, I was the one who had to be responsible in the kissing department. I would not even go up into his room with him anymore. Not only was it too appealing to the both of us but every time we attempted to be alone in the Cullen house, we would get 'woo-hoos' and 'oooooh Edward, are you sure you can keep your shirt on this time' comments from Jasper or Emmett. I didn't dare go upstairs to even see what ever happened to the bed- they would have had to weld it together in order to fix it.

The difference in Edward's calm demeanor toward our physical relationship seemed to be based upon Alice's vision the day I told Charlie about our engagement. Edward had always been so afraid of hurting me and 'crushing my skull by accident' as he once put it that we never were able to be together like normal couples. What he saw in Alice's head must have been really encouraging. He started acting like a normal teenage boy with lots of hormones, reasons and excuses why we shouldn't have to wait anymore. I reminded him it was his idea in the first place and that I wouldn't put his soul in jeopardy. He didn't seem very interested in his soul's whereabouts anymore. I talked him into going hunting with the boys more often to escape his constant persistence.

I blamed his new determination on myself actually. I set free this new monster that he had had leashed up in the back of his mind for a century or so. It got to the point by the middle of July that I had to have Emmett and Jasper keep him occupied at night so he couldn't sneak into my house keeping me awake with temptations. My less noble side could take over when I was tired and not paying enough attention. We had some close calls but I would eventually take my control back after much effort of removing my hands from his perfect body. The boys thought we were insane to be waiting but also thought it was hilarious to keep Edward from me. They willingly elected to help.

It was about that same time in July that Charlie got a call from Billy saying Jacob had been missing for 3 days. No doubt one of the other wolves would know where he was but Billy must have wanted to tell Charlie so that Charlie would tell me. It was obvious who he thought was to blame for Jacob's absence. I suppose Billy just wanted to rub it in a little. Since I said goodbye to him, I had often thought about Jacob. I wondered how he was holding up, if he was healed yet (physically _and_ emotionally), what he was doing now that school was out. It felt like I hadn't seen him in years by the time Charlie told be about his disappearance. Needless to say, Billy had done his job; I was worried out of my mind.

Charlie was extremely worried as well. There had been several disappearances lately. The girl in Port Angeles and then a couple of hikers in Northern Washington were no where to be found. No bodies, no evidence. The Cullen's suspected a vampire but had not come across any new scents as of yet. Whatever or whoever was responsible for these attacks also knew what they were doing. Alice couldn't see a thing regarding the situation which frustrated her out of her mind. This wasn't like Victoria's army but worse. She saw nothing in the future, a blank wall. There were several reports of the same crimes in surrounding states. There were six or seven people missing in California, Oregon, Idaho and even one in Utah all with out any trace left of them. No clues of a struggle or any resistance. They were all about the same too, besides the set of hikers in Washington, they were all young women ranging in age from 18-30.

Charlie was always at work trying to solve this horrific mystery before I could be the next victim. He got so worried that he had asked Edward to please escort me to and from anywhere I wished to go. If Edward was going out of town, which I made him do often these days, I was to stay with the Cullens while Charlie was at work. When Charlie heard about Jacob's disappearance too, he was crazy with worry. How could Billy do that to him when he knew all along that Jacob was just running away at his own motivation?

Of course Alice couldn't see anything about Jacob either. She was preoccupied with the wedding and the news kept saying it was _only_ a new serial killer that was on the loose. Much better, I thought. Edward knew it was something more but refused to talk about it in depth with me until he 'had more information.' Ridiculous excuses. He tried to distract me in the usual ways, kissing and teasing.

Surprisingly enough, Edward was so strangely concerned about Jacob too, not because of me, but he seemed genuinely worried about Jacob himself. I could tell it was something else; he didn't seem to be worried about _where_ Jacob was or even if he was alive and ok. All of us in on the secret knew Jacob would survive whatever or wherever regular humans couldn't. Edward was mostly apprehensive about the reason _why_ Jacob left. I could tell he thought it was his fault. Not that I was ungrateful for this new anxiety for his rival, but I couldn't help but wonder why he suddenly cared so much?

Another week went by and still no sign of Jacob. I called every morning, afternoon and night to talk to a very unhelpful Billy. His unruffled attitude toward the whole situation was enough to send me over the edge early one Friday morning. He knew exactly where Jacob was and was intentionally not telling me. He was taking pleasure in my suffering; he continued to deliberately avoid Jacob's whereabouts. After a week or so of Billy's elusiveness I drove out to La Push to get some sufficient answers. Edward was gone hunting with Emmett and Rosalie. I knew he wouldn't approve but I went to the only place I could think of, Sam and Emily's.

Sam was the only one who would understand what I had to do; he and I had a lot in common and Sam couldn't explain it any better than I could. Like me, Sam also had two soul mates. One for the way the world was now, the way it was with magic and monsters. And one for the way the world should be, the way it would be if there was no magic and no monsters. He had to tell that one good bye. He had to break every promise he ever made to her. There were no explanations why or how he came to love Emily so strong, he just did. It was the way _this_ world was, the way it would always be. I didn't know how Sam would react to me coming here but I would try to make him understand that I cared for Jacob the same way he would always care for Leah.

I drove past the easternmost house on the highway and turned onto the little dirt road that I knew led to the tiny faded grey house. It looked exactly the same but had some added welcoming greenery and some more flower beds because of the summer season. I stayed in my truck for a moment, hesitating, hoping Sam wouldn't be angry with me for coming…or Paul. What if Paul was there? I didn't have to wait long; werewolves have excellent senses of hearing and smell. Sam and Embry stood on the small porch in front of the small house. They looked astounded to see me there still sitting in my truck. Both of them walked over to my driver's side window cautiously, their noses turned up in disgust at my smell.

"We thought you were one of them for a minute, you smell awful" Sam said casually through the window.

"Thanks," I said sarcastically, a little relieved that he was talking to me, but mostly surprised at his careless tone. I started to get out of my truck when Sam purposely held my door shut.

"I think I know why you're here." He said. "…and you shouldn't be…. Bella…" His face was cold and emotionless now. "You chose your side. I'm worried it is only hurting Jacob more for you to continue to be here…around. I think its best if you…keep your distance" This was hard for him to say to me.

Tears gurgled to my traitorous eyes. I tried to hold back the breaks in my voice. "Sam, how is that even fair coming from you? You more than anyone should know what I am going through, what _he_ is going through."

He looked at me dubiously for a moment. Then he cleared his throat and tried again. "I think you should go home now Bella. There is nothing more we can do for you." He turned and started towards the house again. He hesitated when Embry didn't follow. "Embry come," He called to him, it reminded me of a master calling his dog.

The tears were too much now; they slowly rolled down my face. I got out of my truck and slammed the door. "Sam, I don't want to hurt him. I don't want to hurt anyone. I just came to make sure he is okay." My voice broke all over that sentence. I turned to Embry. "Do you know where he is and if he's okay? I just need to know if he's ever coming back. Why did he go…now?" So many questions, so little answers from either of them.

Sam just looked at Embry; he gave a frustrated sigh and shook his head as he went inside the house by himself. Embry silently walked around the other side of my truck and got in. I stood there for a second, shocked, and then I got in too.

"I know you love him," Embry sighed. "But Sam is right you know? You're just making it harder for him." He looked at me. I nodded; my eyes were looking out his window. My face was red and torn from the tears. "Jacob, is my best friend, he is going to kill me for even getting in this truck with you but…" He hesitated, unsure how to word it. "I think you have a right to know….well I think Jake would never tell you but you have a right to know for him…"

I looked at him now, taken aback. "To know what? I feel like I am the reason he left, where is he? He should come home and be with his friends…I….I should have to be the one who leaves if he can't stand to be in the same state as me" I said sadly, looking down at my hands in my lap.

"No?" He looked at me questioningly. "I guess I should have figured as much. Jake thought the leech was kind of shifty around you, but I thought he would tell you by now. Like I said, you do have a right to know. I'm sure he could have put the puzzle pieces together." My forehead scrunched together confused. He took that as an 'I don't know what the hell you're talking about' expression. After a minute or two of silence he started to explain.

I cut him off and asked in a slightly aggravated tone "What would Edward have to tell me? What would Edward know about Jacob?"

"I guess he is not totally to blame, Leah was some of the irritation as well." He looked annoyed when he said her name; it could have been for Edward though. "Bella, I am going to get beat by maybe every single one of my brothers for telling you this…and maybe even Leah too but," He stopped again. This was driving me crazy. "From what I could see in Jake's head, he was upset about something Leah said… 'Bloodsuckers lose control when they are… _changing_ a human…and the human dies' like on accident." I was surprised how nonchalantly he was speaking. "Then he came home to find _someone's _wedding invitation. There was a letter inside from your par…a….site…." He trailed off as he looked at my furiously red face.

"He did WHAT?" I shouted and closed my eyes with anger. "How could he?" I shook my head in disbelief. "How could he do this to _him_? Where is Jacob? Can you see where he went off to? What is he doing? Is he okay? What did the letter say?"

"Hey, hey, calm down. Jake is fine. He ran East in the forest going toward Idaho, He is probably somewhere in Montana right now. We can't be sure, he intentionally wont look at a road sign or anything but he ran a long time…like 500 miles… probably doesn't want us to know so that we can't tell you." He explained. "Your Edward didn't say anything…that I know of...to intentionally _hurt_ Jake. He wrote about choices and gratitude and stuff, which is almost worse. Jake is trying really hard to hate that bloodsucker. He doesn't want to see that Edward does truly love you back. Deep down he is still trying to believe that you'll wake up one of these days and realize you love him more." He sighed. "That's not the worst of it though, he could live with that. He could live with the fact that you chose someone else over him. He would rather you be happy but he doesn't want _him_ to be happy. He doesn't want you to be changed into one of them. He's afraid of what you'll be, of who you'll become. Then Leah, stupid monster, doesn't know what she's doing, tried to talk to him, to get him to realize you're not the only human girl in the world." He was now speaking more to himself than me, not realizing that this was probably too much information. "She was trying to make him get over you and she said some cruel things. Normally someone in her position would do anything, and I mean anything, to comfort and help him…" He was the one shaking his head now.

I sat there for a long moment rethinking the words Embry was telling me. I started my truck and Embry went to get out of the car. "Don't move." I said. My voice was harsher than I thought it ever could be. "You're coming with me." My patience was totally gone. I had a lot to think about. I realized a little surprised, that I was in a very bad mood. How dare Edward go against my request and send Jacob that letter. How dare Leah goad him and worry him even more. How dare Sam treat me like a leper and not explain to me the information I came for- when he…he of all people should understand where I am coming from…so many other reasons to be stressed. Embry looked too scared to not do what I said. We drove silently out of La Push. For the first time ever, I wished my truck could go faster. "You're going to help me find him. I need to talk to him; he should be at home with his family and friends right now. _I _will be the one who has to leave if he can't stand to be anywhere near me. I'm not going to be the one responsible for him running away like this." I was still shouting at him when he interrupted my loud rambling.

"Bella, you don't have to do this. He'll come home eventually. I'm pretty sure he just wants to be alone. And I am also pretty sure," He chuckled with out humor. "…you're the last person he wants to see right now. How do you expect me to find him anyway? If I change into a wolf, he'll know you're with me and he'll just run further and further away…Bella, Sam is right about this. The more you come around, the harder it is for him. He can't get over you if you're always in his face. You owe it to him to let him be alone for awhile."

I sat there stunned. He was right everything he was saying was right. I should have let him be as soon as Edward came back. I made my choice back then. I knew how Jacob felt and I just kept leading him on…to believe and hope that one day I would change my mind. I wasn't changing my mind no matter what happened. I was so angry with Edward for sending that invitation to Jacob…but even so, I couldn't imagine anything that would make me angry enough to actually leave Edward. Nothing could do that. I was just hurting Jake more by continuing to be in his life, hurting myself too. I pulled over, put the truck in park and sat with Embry for a long quiet moment.

"Thank you." I said quietly looking out the window. He could barely hear me over the loud idle of my truck. "You told me way more than I deserved to know. You're right, Sam is right. I need to leave him alone." I sighed. "I guess if you and Billy aren't too nervous about him than I shouldn't be either. I sort of gave up the privilege to be here worrying and stomping off to get him, huh?" I smiled with out humor.

"I just want Jacob and Sam to know that I never meant to hurt Jacob or anyone else. I don't mean to keep hurting him either. Sam should identify with what I am going through more than anyone else. I can't explain why things are the way they are, why I chose that side. It is almost as if I '_imprinted'_ on Edward or vice versa." I said the word with emphasis and he looked at me with what felt like understanding. "I love Jacob and if there were anyway to really cut myself in half, no matter how painful, I would do it. My pain means nothing to me at this point; I just want him to find some happiness, something to live for." I pulled the truck in drive and flipped around.

We were silent as I drove Embry back to Sam's house, he got out of my truck and Sam came to stand on the porch looking more than upset. I went to reverse out of the small drive when he started forward towards me. Embry who was now standing between my truck and Sam was confused. Sam saw his expression and put his hands up in surrender to let us know he wasn't going to harm me. I un-tensed a little relieved and stopped. I didn't think Sam would ever hurt me but his facial expression on the porch was almost terrifying.

He was at my window now. Again he had his hands at the door as if he were holding it shut. "We have picked up on a new scent recently, someone of your kind." I understood which kind he meant and was suddenly nauseous as he confirmed the Cullen's suspicions. "I wasn't going to tell you but I figured we needed to know if they were your…'friends' or not. I am sure you're aware that there have been some missing people; we will attack it when we find it. If it is your 'friend,' the treaty is now broken." He said this with no emotion in his voice or on his face.

"As far as I know, they are no friend to the Cullens." I said a little shaken. "They haven't come across the scent yet from what I've gathered, they did suspect a new vampire's responsibility for the attacks as well but haven't had any real clues as of yet."

"Good to know." He said a little less tense. "We don't want to begin the war just yet." He tried to joke but he was still too serious to be anything funny.

"I will tell them what you know when I see them; I will call you if I find anything else out. They have a tendency to leave me out of this sort of thing though" I said a little abashed. The side_ I_ had chosen always seemed to leave me out of the loop in these circumstances. I struggled for a moment, afraid to ask my next question "Because of Charlie," I said obviously lying. "Can someone let me know when Jacob does get home? I know I have no right to care but Billy is no help at all and I can't keep driving out here to get information. Charlie is sick with worry."

"I will make Jacob himself call Charlie when he comes home, he owes us all that. I'm not doing his dirty work for him." Sam said really joking this time.

I felt only little better. Now I had to go deal with difficult fiancés.

I started on my way home. Edward would be home by now and probably anxious because Alice wouldn't be able to see where I was or what I was doing. His anxiety would be nothing compared to the wrath he had waiting for him. I got outside the reservation limits and pulled over on the same shoulder Edward had passed me off to Jacob about three months ago. I got out of my truck and climbed in the back waiting on the tail gate for him to come.

He parked about 30 feet away from me. He got out of the car and stood next to it deciding if it was safe to come over to me. No doubt Alice had told him where she guessed I had been and how angry I was now. He had been putting the puzzle pieces together all along. How could he just sit there and let me worry about Jacob, let me think it was my fault he left, let me torture myself with the thought that Jacob couldn't even stand to be in the same state as me…? I waited unmoving on the edge of my truck bed staring off into the forest and pretending I didn't notice he was there.

The sun was out today, a change from this past weeks rainy overcast. He glistened and although I couldn't hear the shuffle of his feet coming nearer to me, I could see the rainbows dancing all around as he started walking at human speed in my direction. He stopped about 10 feet away when I finally turned my head and glared at him with the most livid stare I could produce. This was hard for me seeing as he wasn't someone I could be angry with easily.

"Bella...." He started forward again.

"Don't!" I put my palm out towards him and looked back into the trees. "Don't even try. Just stay where you are. Don't look into my eyes, don't breath on me, don't touch me." I said dramatically. I didn't want to lose focus with his alluring eyes, smell or touch.

He stopped still a few feet from me frustrated and glaring at me too. His lips mashed in a straight line. "Do I not even get a chance to explain myself?" He asked. His arms folded.

I turned back and met his gaze. "I know why you did it. It doesn't make any difference. I asked for one thing, Edward. I asked that Jacob not be involved in any of this. Sending your _gratitude_ just made it harder for him. How could you do this to _him_? Do you not care what happens to him, how it would affect him if you gloated your appreciation in his face?" I shook my fuming head with disappointment at him but losing more steam every second I looked at his sincere, angelic face.

"I wasn't gloating." He argued insulted. "I'm sure that's what they want you to think. I _am_ grateful to Jacob. I care for him because you do. If it were the other way around, I would want what choice I gave him. I wasn't rejoicing in his pain or boasting with triumph." He was shouting now in a loud enough voice someone in La Push or Forks might actually here him.

"Well for someone so smart I would have thought you'd be able to recognize that Jacob is not you." I continued sardonically. "He doesn't have the patience or the understanding that you have." If I wasn't shouting at him, these attributes might sound like compliments. "He is gone, are you happy? And they can't tell when or _if_ he'll ever come back... I just want to be alone right now, Edward." I just wanted to stay angry with him and I couldn't for long if he kept standing there. "I don't know what to do here or how to fix this." I hopped down from my truck trying for a dramatic exit. I landed on a large rock in the gravel and flew backwards catching myself on what I thought was the heavy metal of my tail gate. Edward's arms would probably leave me sore tomorrow where they caught me.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." He said trying not to smile as I overly rubbed the side where his arm had been while glaring at him again. I was trying to be mad; every second was getting harder and harder.

I turned abruptly, struggling for the rest of my pride and walked to the driver's side door. I went to lift the handle but it wouldn't open. I lifted it at least ten more times over and over just to make sure. I put my hands in my pockets already knowing where my key was but I had to at least check to be certain…"uggggh!" I slumped forward against my dirty truck and hit my forehead on the window before pounding once on it severely with my fist. Why this moment? Why did I have to lock my keys inside the truck right now? I can't remember ever doing it before in my lifetime, why now when I am trying to escape with some dignity.

Edward was leaning against the side of my truck watching. I groaned loudly in frustration and turned to look at him my forehead was still against the window. His smile was astounding as always even though it was in mockery of the show I just put on. He didn't say anything. He just keep smiling, laughing silently waiting for me to ask him for help.

After a moment of frustrated deliberation I decided I'd rather walk for two hours to the nearest pay phone than give in. I let go of the handle, and pushed away from the truck. I started on foot away from his car towards La Push.

I got about one hundred feet away when he exhaled noisily, "Bella, you're not going to walk home. Get in the car. I'll take you anywhere you want to go you silly stubborn little shit."

I kept walking towards the Quiluette boundaries. Soon enough he wouldn't be able to follow me.

"I hope you wore good walking shoes," He called my bluff. I was wearing flip flops. I could only hear the quiet vibrating Volvo engine and then the sound was fading away. I was surprised how perturbed I felt when I turned around and his car was gone. I wanted this, right? I wanted to walk eight miles to La Push. I wanted to upset him by leaving and being alone.

I stopped where I was about twenty yards from where I thought the Quiluette line started. I stood alone for a minute in disbelief that he actually left me. I tried not to be, but it made me even angrier at him. Did he not remember there was a strange serial killer on the loose and that he promised my father to escort me everywhere? I asked myself annoyed at him. _How dare he…?_ I started walking again. I turned around and pretty much marched angrily back to my truck. I pulled the handle up one more time to make sure it was still locked. Crazy I know. Then I started my way home, towards Forks this time.

I didn't even get all the way around the corner when I saw him there waiting for me. Arms folded across his chest, he wore a smug look on his face and leaned against his car.

"Are we done now love? Can I take you home?" He cracked a dazzling smile. I tried so hard not to smile back. He won again. I kept walking in the same direction. "You know if you just keep going, I'll catch you and drag you back anyway. I won't let you walk out here by yourself…"He chuckled to himself. "With your luck you'll slip on a rock or something, fall down and go unconscious." He laughed at his own joke. "You think I would let you go anywhere on foot while there is some monster out there tracking down young girls?" His tone was more serious now but he was still smiling.

I stopped in front of him and tried to smile "I am glad you didn't leave me. I only like being alone when you're still there." I smiled big this time. "I couldn't believe it when you left me."

"I will never leave you, Bella." He said casually as he held the passenger side door for me. "I physically _can't_ leave you, or don't you know that yet?" He was in the driver's seat before I even realized my door was shut.

"Yes, I know. That's why I was surprised when you did." I said still a little down. He had so much power over me. I hated to ever be apart from him.

Unconsciously he picked up my hand and started driving. "I am sorry Bella, about Jacob I mean. I didn't know this would happen. I am not _happy_ that it's happened. I wish there was someway to go get him or something…force him to come home. We're probably the last two people on earth he wants to talk to right now."

"Ya, that's what Embry said, I actually sort of kidnapped him." I announced proudly. "To help me go get Jacob... He obviously talked me out of it. He made me realize that I am only making it harder for Jacob to keep coming around….and it's not all your fault you know? Leah was egging him on before he got home to get your letter. I guess she was taunting him with his worst fear…that you'll just kill me in the changing process." I felt Edward stiffen. "He doesn't want to trust you that you'll be able to stop. Then he goes home to find your letter saying 'you'll take care of me' and 'thank you for her'…which just made it worse.

"He'll come back...eventually. They're not too worried about him. I just wonder what he's eating out there. He has no clothes or money; he can't change into his human form. Maybe he's like a real wolf or something. That's interesting."

Edward smirked and looked out his window. "He is so disgusted with our way of life and he's out there hunting just the same….Figures." he muttered at the end. I made an 'ew' face with my nose crinkled in and I wasn't smiling.

"There is something else I need to tell you," I hesitated "You have to be honest with me and tell me everything you know about this. I don't care how much it might scare me." I said very seriously on the verge of tears. "I am tired of being left out." The tears came now with all the stress of the day and worry for…_everything_. "Sam told me something about the missing people. They came across a new scent. You're right you know? It is what you think it is." I said gravely looking at his face. He wasn't surprised "He asked if we knew 'it'. If it was a _friend_ of ours, if so, the treaty is broken and the war begins."

"I was afraid this would happen." Edward said matching my solemn tone. "We'll have to speak with Carlisle. What did you tell Sam?" he asked already knowing the answer.

"That you had no idea who it was and they're no friend of ours….that I knew of." I said questioningly "Was that right?"

He tried to stall. I cleared my throat impatiently. "Yes but I think I do know who it is and….." He didn't want to finish.

"If we're going to be married to each other, you might need a little practice with the concepts of honesty and openness with your wife."

"They aren't exactly friends, but they wouldn't make good enemies either."

"Who…who is it?" I nervously slurred. "Who could it be if it's someone you know?" The Light bulb came on and my eyeballs bulged out of my head. "You have to change me Edward. Tonight. No more innocent people are going to die because of me. I will not let them come near my family"

Edward looked at me worriedly. "I don't know if that is who it is exactly. I told you that there will be no changing until there is nothing hanging over your head to make that choice and…I need to tell Sam or Jacob exactly what they would be dealing with if the met up with someone from the Voltourri." He was speaking his thoughts out loud.

"I'll call him when we get to your house and talk to Carlisle." I said suddenly gearing up to face another death threat.

**Give me some feedback, please.**


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